I met Rebecca in April of 2001. I was sharing some thoughts about what it looks like to follow God at an event for college aged people in the Bay Area. She was sitting in the front row…It was the second time I had seen her. The 1st time I noticed her was at a coffee shop I used to spend a lot of time in. She was leading a bible study with a group of high school girls. I was pretty new to the Jesus thing so it struck me as odd, and totally hot! Needless to say I was happy to see her again. I quickly instorduced myself and smilled really big because my mom always told me I had a pretty smile and well….I wanted to look pretty for her:)
I immediately sent my friend Glen out on a re-con mission to find out if she was seeing anyone. He came back a couple days later to report that by all accounts she appeared to be single and that she worked at a local church in reception. The good news was and still is, that I have no shame when it comes to involving myself in the life of someone I want to know better. I called the church one day, she answered and before she knew what hit her I sold her 10,000 printed envelopes. They were very complicated envelopes and the complexity demanded that I call nearly everyday to ask a question or report on status or something. I tried to make her laugh while sounding really smart at the same time which is harder than it looks. I felt like it was going really well and then one day I called and she was sort of mean to me on the phone. I was saying something really charming when she suddenly cut me off and indicated that she didn’t have time to talk and hung up the phone.
That evening as I was letting my friends at the coffee shop know that I had struck out with the church girl, she walked in and came right up to my table and interrupted to let me know that she was sorry to have been ubrpt on the phone earlier. She said it was just bad timing and people were coming at her from all directions. I smiled really big again and asked if she wanted to get a cup of coffee. She accepted and we sat by the window and talked until the place closed at midnight, then we sat on the tailgate of my truck in the parking lot until nearly sunrise. I was elated to have met her and in my heart I already knew she was my wife. I asked her if she would like to go on a real date that night and she simply said no. She said that she didn’t “date” for the sake of dating and that we should just be friends and see what happens. I was embarrassed but I hid it well and asked if she wanted to hang out…she said sure. We hung out nearly everyday for several (4) weeks. Almost never were we alone as to not be confused with dating of coarse. I was head over heals and was feeling pretty confident that she was too so I decided to write her a good old fashioned love letter. I let her know about all the gushy things I was feeling and I also let her know that I believed her to be my wife. I invited her to…”get on this roller-coaster with me so we can enjoy the ride together” and lots of other crazy scary stuff like that. It was one of those emails that you hoover over the keyboard for a long time with before sending. Finally I sent it on it’s way and then laid awake in bed wondering if she had read it. The next day I called the church around noon to say hey. She was short on the phone. I wanted to ask her if she received the email but I didn’t and she didn’t mention it either. We got off the phone and my heart was pumping so fast I thought I was going to pass out. I sat there and stared at the phone for 2 hours then called again. This time I asked her if she received it and she said she had. THATS ALL SHE SAID! She had her poker face on and she wasn’t about to show her hand. I asked if she wanted to hang out later and she said she was busy. I asked about the next day…busy, and the next…busy.
This is a theme in my life. When I excited about something, my “enthusiasm” is often perceived as weird. I had scared her away. The problem was that I knew she was just wasting time by avoiding me because she was going to be my wife one day. I got my nerve up and called the next morning. When she realized it was me she quickly sounded “busy”. I explained that I understood if she felt I was nuts and pleaded that she at least meet me for dinner so we can talk like adults and not end things like middle-schoolers. She agreed and we met that afternoon at Red Robin. She was pretty straight forward as she explained that I scared her with the letter and that I was jumping way ahead. Her words hit me much harder than I thought they would. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I made it to the stall and began to cry. I prayed for composure but moreover I prayed that God would give me words to use that would compel her to allow me to remain in her life. I got myself together and went back to the table. I told her that I understood what she meant and agreed that I had stepped out of bounds with the letter. I told her I would go as slow as she wanted and I promised that I wouldn’t mention it again so long as we could remain friends.
TO BE CONTINUED…